2020 Chapter III Section 23

Work from home - the new normal.

So, I had meant to write about this a few months ago. Since I have worked from home most of my professional life, I thought let me write about it. And, then life happened and I basically got lazy and kept postponing it.

That brings us to now. Well, hmmm…the world is going through something horrible. Truly horrible and many fortunate people are now going to be working from home for a period of prolonged time for maybe the first time in their lives.

(I say fortunate because if you are reading this and get to work from home, you are blessed and privileged and thank your lucky stars.) (also didn’t mean to make it sound like I am scolding you, just saying many are without jobs right now or they have to be out there defending the world so we get to stay home. okay I am done.)

Since I have championed this cause of the working from home to the T, I thought maybe I can share some of the tips and tricks that have kept me going. No, I am not an expert in anything, also no you do not have to agree or follow any of them, but if you like what I suggest and follow them and find some benefit let me know. You know, like, share, comment and subscribe. Oh wait, that’s not this. Nevermind.

Create a workspace.

That is not your bed or the couch or the floor. The best possible scenario is if you have a study table with a comfortable chair in a different room, that is not your bedroom. This way there is a distinct division in your head of a workspace. If that is not possible use your dining table. Be creative. But, seriously one of the biggest mistakes most first time work from homers make, they work from the bed.

When I had initially started working from home, I used to work from my bed. A lot. Though I had a table. It was used for keeping my snacks. I used to be sleepy most of the time, feel very little motivation and worst of all, I would stay put in that same position for hours, sometimes days. I would only get up to go to the bathroom, eat and shower. The days blended into each other and sometimes I lost track of time. You do not want that.

Stick to a routine.

This is very important, especially like me if you have odd work hours. I have worked remotely with American companies for years now and my work hours are usually at night. It is important you take the time and create a schedule for yourself. Umm…don’t be too ambitious. Keep it simple. We all know how much we really do in a day and stick to it as much as possible. Schedule in some ‘me’ time, social media time, workout time, and food time.

Take a bath and dress up.

Okay, I do not mean like dress fancy, but if wearing work clothes make you feel like there is still some normalcy in your life, do it. I know it sounds silly but we are creatures of habit. So, if you make an effort to look and feel different than you do normally, it will help feel like you are about to go on normally with your workday. Also, wearing pajamas and still working normally is an advanced work from home mode, you are not ready for it yet. Or, maybe you are. You decide.

Either way, the whole point is to trick your mind into thinking you are actually going to work. Pajamas are “house” clothes. Sometimes the uncomfortable jeans and shirts can make you feel like you are back in the office.

P.S. if you wear your workout clothes to work anyways, then carry on, my salutations to you. You are winning at life.

Allocate social time.

Be social. Just online. For now.

We live in a world where we can easily virtually socialise. Utilise it. Hey, I am talking to you, you the party animal. Yes, people can have a brilliant time while being social online. (Of course, don’t be a troll)

Make time to call a friend or a family member or talk to someone from one of those dating apps. I don’t judge. But, have specific times when you do that. You remember that routine I talked about before, yeah that’s where you schedule this in. It is important to make sure you do not go to that point in life where the walls are your best friend. Been there, done that. It wasn’t pretty.

Stare out the window, a lot.

Okay, maybe this is a ‘me’ thing. I love looking out my window or balcony. I love people watching and bird watching and sometimes cow watching and doggos, yes lots of doggos. Especially if I have been sitting in one place or working on the same task for too long, I like to take a quick 5 or 10 minutes to take a break where I stare out and see what’s happening in the world outside of my window. I know for city dwellers, it is a bit tougher since there isn’t much to look at. But, try and find a happy place. Also, it makes me feel less alone. I feel like there is so much life out there, doing their own things and I am part of this much bigger thing.

Log off on time.

This is something we should do all the time but we do not. Especially in India, I think almost all of us work extra hours we actually shouldn’t be. (Hey employers those extra hours don’t make or break anything, let people log off on time.) Also, those who think working extra hours means you are being more productive, ummm…no..if you cannot finish your work in 8 hours a day, you need to get more productive, buddy. (Here, I am only talking to those who shame others for finishing work on time or “early” and boast about working so much extra. Okay, so others relax)

Log off and make sure you do not log back in till it’s time for you too. Allocate specific times to check your work emails. Trust me it is very easy to think, okay I will just get this one thing done, it will take just 15 minutes to realise you have been working for 2 hours. This is where having a separate workspace comes handy. Log off, leave the room and you are done for the day.

EXERCISE. Or at least move.

Ahh…yes the nemesis. I avoid this as much as possible. Or, rather used to. Now, I try to incorporate some form of movement into my daily routine. It can be spot jogging or walking around the house or yoga or on really good days high-intensity workouts. There are plenty of workout routines on the interwebs, follow any one of them. And, make sure you schedule this in as well, especially before work if that works for you.

Okay, storytime. I was a lazy bum, I still am but less lazy-ish. So, yeah a few months ago I noticed that by the time it was time for my work hours to start (which was usually in the evenings) I was too tired, physically and mentally. So, someone suggested apples, apparently, they wake you up. No, they did not. I then started having coffee. Now, that was may have been the worst idea, because I immediately go to sleep after my work is over, so…the coffee would keep me up and then messed up my sleeping pattern. So, one day I decided to work out before starting work in an effort to see if that helps me feel motivated. Yes, it did. I felt happier, clearer and the lovely endorphins made me feel energetic and ready to tackle all the tasks. Since, then, l created mini workout sessions throughout my work hours. I try and do one big workout session just before starting work and then every 2-3 hours I spot jog for 10 minutes. It has made a huge difference. And, I am healthier as well.

Stay off social media while working.

Yes, this includes YouTube, Netflix, HULU, and Amazon Prime (you get the idea). Also, do not just sit on Bumble or Tinder or or or (oh man we have way too many apps nowadays) during your allocated work hours. I am not your boss but I can assure you, you will not get much work done. Humans cannot multi-task, no matter what the sci-fi movies say. In reality, we can only concentrate on one task at a time. Yes, many (including yours truly) can switch between tasks fast and easily but we switch, we do not do them all at the same time. So, basically stay off the phone till it’s time for you to socialise.

Create a kickass playlist.

Oh man, this one might be my favourite tip. I love to listen to music while I work. It helps me concentrate and lightens up the mood. (I sometimes listen to audiobooks as well, but that’s a topic for another day) Depending on my mood either they are fun dance numbers, ghazals or a mix-taped situation. I love to blast it loud and sing along. Yes, karaoke time at 2 in the morning. (I am so happy we have no neighbours or this would have been a big no no.)

Reach out

I get it humans are social animals, even for someone like me who rather stay in than go out, I go stir crazy sometimes. That one coffee outing a week or that grocery shopping time means a lot for me. So, if staying in is affecting you, reach out to someone. Be it someone personal or professional. Talk about what you are feeling. It is okay to do that. And, hey if I know you, reach out to me. If I don’t and you are reading this and need to talk to someone, email me. I do reply. Be nice and not creepy.

Be kind to yourself

The times are tough. So, if you mess up something it’s okay. It really is okay. Not only now but in life. It is more important to learn from mistakes than to be hard on yourself for making one. And, your feelings are valid.

When I started working from home it was because of an ailment. I was not able to physically go out and work and sustain it. It had taken a huge toll on my mental health. I kept thinking I was failing at life. It took me some time to realise that is not true.

It is not normal to switch from what we are used to, to something we are not familiar with. Most of us have hectic routines of daily commutes and socialising and and and. Suddenly being forced to stay inside and suddenly having so much time can be a shock to the system. So, the one advice I will give you is take your time to adjust. Speak out if this is affecting you. Share what’s on your mind. I know I talked about privilege in the beginning. Yes, being able to keep working and having a sense of security is a form of privilege but that doesn’t mean you cannot feel helpless or lost or angry or sad. There is too much happening around us. The news is scary. It is okay to feel so many things and more.

These are unprecedented times but this too shall pass. For now, we can be kind to each other, help out in whatever ways you think is possible and stay inside.

Oh and WASH YOUR HANDS. (moisturise as well, they must be bone dry by now)

2020 Chapter III Section IV

Blank Mind.

So, today I thought was going to be my most productive day this week. I had a PLAN. I was going to wake up, get my hair cut (because now it looks a lot like a tiny shaggy dog), go to my favourite cafe and get a lot of work done. (I work from home so these cafe work days are truly special for me) Simple right? Yes, very simple. I have done that before. It has always been a successful plan and it is an easy one to follow really.

But, nope nope nope.

I have been staring at this screen for the past hour. Well, technically I am typing this as well. But, yeah you get the picture.

Well, it wasn’t the day that started off bad, it was the night that did not end well.

I couldn’t sleep the whole night, too many thoughts swirling around, making a mess of everything. The one night I was sure I would get a good night’s sleep turned out to be a disaster. I had food at the right time, exercised the right amount, finished my to do list and was in bed on time. I was tired enough to go to sleep just at the right time. But, noooooooo….the brain had some other plans. I tried meditating, soft music, lavender tea etc etc etc. I even cursed my insomnia, fearing it might be back. Nothing.

Anyway, I did finally fall asleep and somehow managed to get enough rest for me to function as a normal human being. I woke up excited, HAIRCUT day!

I have been looking forward to this haircut for over a week (well a month). I hardly ever get haircuts (I chop off the excess when I get too annoyed, that’s a story for another day) and when I do, I like the whole pampering; from the pre-wash to the final blow dry and styling. I was going to go in looking like an average human person with a shaggy dog on her head and come out looking like an average human person. THE DREAM. .

[Sidenote: If you want a decent haircut in this city then you have to book someone days in advance, if not weeks. I do not remember haircuts being such a task before. If I thought I looked shaggy I would go to the local barber and they would butcher it the way they thought fit. We would both feel somewhat satisfied in life and move on. Currently the local ones also need an appointment; “sorry ma’am she is only available on Wednesday from 12pm till 12:45pm, will that work for you?” Umm,…no it will not work for me, but I guess it will have to right?]

Anyhu, I woke up to a cancellation call that broke my privileged heart. Okay, fine no haircut. Not to worry, I can still salvage this amazing day. To the cafe I go.

I was greeted with the usual warmth I have gotten used to, the usual smiling faces. Yes, this day is about to turn around. My usual seat (yes I come here often enough that I have a go-to table to sit at, I think soon I will build my tiny house on that spot) wasn’t available.

Nothing to worry, there is plenty of seating. I find a nice secluded place. Put my earphones on and start blasting Awkwafina’s “My vag”; a work mood setting song if there was any and I was ready for the long list of things I wanted to get done today.

5 minutes in, these 4 corporates boys choose the table beside me to sit. Yeah, okay this is a public space, I must share. I am sure this will be fine. um….no these not so gentle dudes are loud enough to get through my noise cancelling earphones. (Yes I am being a privileged little unhappy person, sue me. No, don’t actually, never mind. Let me just ramble and rant for a bit please.)

The cafe people are super nice, and one of them make sure my usual place is free and I move there. I have sitting here for the past hour, typing this long “I need to complain because I can” blog, having my fried chicken and keto cold coffee and just whiling the time away.

Not the day I planned. And, yes I am very annoyed it didn’t go accordingly but honestly as I am at the end of this meaningless rant, I feel like I did end up having a rather nice day.

2020 Chapter II Section 9

Dear Stranger,

We have never met before,

We might never meet again.

But the heart felt something,

That’s hard to explain.

I saw you only once,

But, somehow I cannot forget.

Your smile, the twinkle in your eyes,

My beating heart and how I felt.

This is not love,

I know that for sure.

I don’t know what it is,

Or what’s the cure.

To you I am nothing,

More than a stranger.

But in my heart’s story,

I am Ron and you are my Hermione Granger.

2020 Chapter II Section 5

My favourite pose - Savasana!

So, today was day 1 of beginner’s yoga. And, it kicked my well-rounded ass.

When I was younger I used to go to yoga classes regularly. I used to run on a daily basis and was interested in gymnastics. In simple terms, I was an active child and was ridiculously flexible.

31 year old me can barely move without making a bone crackling sound. And, I do not think it knows the word flexibility anymore.

I partly blame my laziness and partly blame my chronic pain.

For a little background, as I turned 18 I started experiencing excruciating pain all over my body especially on my right shoulder, arm, wrist, and upper neck area. I have been to many doctors and have been diagnosed with everything they could think of. I have gone through every single treatment that these doctors prescribed, some were beneficial on a short term basis and some just made things worse.

Anyway, you must be wondering what does this have to do with Yoga? Ahhhh, yes…so somebody had told me that yoga is really good for those suffering from chronic pain and I decided to go back to that in my early 20s. Well, go back I did but it turned out the timing (and teacher) was horrible. Not only was I taking a bad concoction of pain medicines prescribed by the doctor (which made me woozy and extra sensitive on an emotional and physical level) but the teacher I found didn’t believe that there is anything called chronic pain or that I should ease into things. Oh no, she was a go-getter. Go hard or don’t go!

“This is all in your head, you are just being lazy and not pushing yourself harder.”

Push harder is what I did and of course, the results weren’t pretty. I was almost immediately put off by the idea of yoga. And, for a long time, I would try and avoid conversations about it either. I have a very close friend who is a yoga teacher now. I know the benefits that come with yoga but that one horrible experience had stopped me from going back to trying it out again.

That is till today when I decided something needed to be done.

I recently have gone on a serious “get fit” journey. I have been walking as much as I can every day and do high-intensity training. This month I started following a plan for HIIT on an app called Nike Training Club. I am truly enjoying their sessions. But, I realised that though my pain is under control my body has become super stiff.

I am not able to do many of the exercises because of that. Of course, I was not ready to admit defeat, so I started doing what I do best, research.

Guess what everyone says online and off, about how to become more flexible? Do yoga!

So, today I decided I have to overcome this unreasonable fear and just finish one session. I mean that’s all it takes to convince me I guess!

It started off super awkward and I could barely move. But, I quickly picked it up. It was like my body slowly remembered all these movements from back when I was a regular. I know I will sound corny, but I felt at peace.

Yes, it was a minuscule achievement but I felt so happy to have been able to get over this fear. Yoga is really good for people with chronic pain and by avoiding it, I was doing more harm.

I rate my session today a solid 5/10 but hey as they say “one day at a time!”

Namaste!

2020 Chapter II Section 4

Sustainable Living - small steps.

So, yeah, this has been on my mind for a few years now. I have been trying to be a lot more aware of the things I use, wear and eat. I am by no means perfect. And, that is what I want to talk about.

I follow a lot of people online (YouTube, Instagram, Facebook, you name it I am there) who follow a zero-waste lifestyle and are vegan. I am neither. I am not proud of it but I have decided to be less embarrassed by it.

I recently realised there are a few things I have been doing for years without ever really realising that they were partly zero waste/vegan lifestyle. That made me think maybe if I continue them and slowly and steadily keep adding more to that list, wouldn’t that make more sense, instead of making myself feel horrible for not being able to do a lot more immediately?

I mean why do we need to make ourselves feel bad that we are not able to always do 100%. I know many will be against this idea, but I feel like doing even a little bit is better than not doing anything at all because you cannot always meet the standards set by others or even by you. I mean why does it have to be all or nothing?

Okay, for example, for a while now, I have been carrying a bottle of water with me everywhere I go. It started because throughout the day I tend to drink a lot of water and it is not available all the time. So, my handy dandy giant bottle became a permanent friend of mine. It goes where I go. I rarely buy plastic bottles of water if I can avoid it completely. Only if there is no way to fill up my bottle and I am dying of thirst will I opt for one. I have even started carrying a smaller bottle for bags that cannot fit my bigger bottle or for places that do not allow my awesome giant bottle. I actually cannot remember the last time I bought a bottle of water. It not only saves a ton of money (if that’s your motivation) but ‘em plastics too.

The next thing I want to talk about is my set of cutleries; a spoon, a fork, a pair of chopsticks and my metal straw with a silicon tip cover. I love them and carry them everywhere. (Yes, I know everyone is trying to cut down on straws and I feel like that’s great.) I have been using this set for a couple of years now and I find them convenient and hygienic as well. Of course, I don’t take them out if I am at a restaurant that provides proper forks and spoons.

The deodorant bar is my next favourite thing. I am a stinker. I mean I sweat a lot. Hence, I used a lot of deodorants, the can kind. I read somewhere that natural deodorants are much better for people with active sweat glands. So, after very little research I found Lush carries a deodorant bar. I was curious and I got it. It’s been almost 7/8 months since I got it and I still have half of it left. So, I can easily use it for another 5/6 months. So, basically I will be using one deodorant bar instead of 12 of those one time use cans. (Yes I used to go through one of those cans a month). And, yes it does make me smell less bad. I noticed it after a month and so did my mother. I am never going back to any other form of deodorants.

Since we are on the topic of bars, shampoo bars are my next mention. I love them. Absolutely in love. I have been using shampoo bars since 2017 and I love them. The ones I usually use are again from Lush. They feel and smell so good and I love the fact that there is no packaging to throw afterward. Since, coming back to Kolkata, I have been looking out for local brands since my little stack is slowly diminished. Maybe in another blog soon I will mention the ones I liked.

My next go-to is bamboo toothbrushes. Yes, the easily available ones are with nylon bristles and that has bothered me for a while but that is much better than the plastic ones, right? I found one company in India that makes castor oil bristles that have the least amount of nylon and I will be trying them out soon. I love bamboo brushes because you can easily use the bamboo-part of it once you are done using it for brushing. My mom needs sticks as support for her plants and these come in handy.

I have a couple of other swaps that I have made in my life which have helped reduce my waste by a lot. But, as I said I am not perfect.

The makeup and the night cream I use come in thick plastic bottles. I always try to find a secondary use for them but well they are still there staring at me, making me feel bad about buying them. I am always on an active lookout for sustainable swaps which won’t harm my extra sensitive skin. (If you know any let me know)

Take outs; this is my guilty pleasure. This is not only bad for the environment but my health as well. Since I have been on a health journey I have stopped ordering in as much as I used to but still, it’s not that good. Again in our house, almost all takeaway containers have some secondary use.

Okay, now let’s talk about food.

I love food. As a Bengali, I have always known a non-vegetarian diet to be the norm. If you do not have fish daily you are a disgrace to the Bengali name. On top of that for the past few years, I have been in the US on and off (I even lived there for about 2 years) and I was exposed to a lot of meat-eating. I was on the Keto diet for a while and from my initial learnings, I understood I had to eat a lot of meat. And, that’s what I did.

I am back on the Keto diet but this time I have researched a lot. I mean a lot. I now know that one can easily be on a healthy Keto diet while being mostly plant-based. Yes, I said mostly because I still eat chicken and eggs. And, cheese. (Other some other meats when I eat out/order in -_-)

Recently I was talking to a friend of mine who is Vegan and I was telling him how ashamed I feel that I am not 100% plant-based. He told me something that I have since been exposed to a lot more thanks to many youtube videos, the simple fact that incorporating even a few plant-based meals is much better than not doing anything at all. Remember the all or nothing mentality I mentioned before? Yup, it’s better to incorporate some vegan options in your diet and life than to do nothing at all.

I have been consciously trying to have at least one meal that completely plant-based, and some days I try to make sure all my meals are plant-based. I am constantly trying to figure out ways to swap my regular and favourite foods with their plant-based options.

Now, I can go on about this and most probably I will in the future but this is all I have to say for now. These thoughts have been on my mind for months and I just wanted to share them. I do not want hate or love by sharing this but I just wanted to share that even small steps help in the bigger cause. Small changes matter and each one of us can do it.

Please share your own experiences, thoughts, and tips.

2020 Chapter I Section 30

Some scars may never heal.

No matter the time,

the distance,

the long hours of therapy.

Some scars may never heal.

You can tell yourself,

you are fine.

But, are you really?

All you can do

is keep moving,

because stopping doesn’t take away the pain.

But, it does weaken it greatly.

Some scars may never heal,

but remain as marks of a warrior,

who fought internal wars and external battles,

and won and survived.

Some scars may never heal,

but,

You are bigger than your scars.

2020 Chapter I Section 27

My sister.

She is the older one and she is pretty cool. I consider her to be my best friend. She is my closest confidant and I know no matter what she will always have my back.

It was definitely not like that when we were children. At times I was sure I would end up killing her and have my face on the front page of the newspaper the next day with some weird headline like “Sister kills sister for a toy/piece of fruit/who gets more time with the grandmother”.

Our fights were so random and a little inspired by the WWF. Yes, we used to watch grown humans fight and think that’s a cool way to show anger/annoyance! We do not do that now. At all.

I was a skinny child and it was very easy for my strong sister to simply pick me up and toss me to the other side of a room like I was a ball of tissues. (She has always been freakily strong; she still is.) And, yes that has happened many times as much as my sister would like to deny that. Luckily none of them were physically or emotionally damaging for either of us. There was a sense of fun and bonding hidden under the layers of anger, stupidity, and childishness.

We were almost always the polar opposite in almost everything. I liked sports and to read and, she liked to, honestly I don’t remember much of what she liked as a child. I now know her well. We still are very different from each other but we have learned to adjust and adapt to each other.

Though we were not close we always had this bond where we knew to share our secrets with each other. I never could understand why we did that. We just trusted each other. We have always shared the darkest and deepest thoughts with each other and we just knew they were always going to be safe.

I think I can actually pinpoint that specific day/moment when I just knew how close I was to my sister.

We both were extremely close to our paternal grandmother. When I was 16 and my sister was 18, “Thamma” passed away. This was a huge shock for both of us. I think we dealt with that in our own ways. After about 2 years or so had passed since her passing away, one evening I suddenly felt like crying and I kept crying. I didn’t know why. It was rather late at night. I went to my sister’s room expecting she must have fallen asleep. But she was, sitting in one corner crying her heart out. It was as if we both realised at the same time what had happened. It just took us a few years to get there. I do not know if she remembers this specific night. But, it’s etched in my memory forever.

I knew then and there I definitely do not want to kill my sister (what a relief) and that she and I are meant to stick by each other forever.

We have both matured and grown so much in the last decade, a lot more than we both had hoped to. But, here we are. 2020 is our year, right didi?

Today is her day. It is her birthday. I wanted to let the world know (or the 30 odd people who will actually read this) how much I respect and love my sister. Professionally she inspires and challenges me and almost everyone she comes in contact with.

She is a really good listener and will patiently listen to you babble for hours. But, beware her favourite response is “Hmmm”. She is not being disrespectful, you just have to learn the “many depths and meanings of the hmmms”. Each has a different feeling attached to it. (I will soon release a guide book for those who would like to know more.)

She is extremely talented and maybe I am biased but I think she might be a genius as well.

I love the fact that recently she has been able to come out of her cocoon a lot more and now the world gets small glimpses of the sweet craziness that makes her unique. I am so happy that she is surrounded by people who love, respect and take care of her. Because she does the same for others.

She is the kind of person who will sacrifice for you without you ever knowing about it. If she sees someone needs something from her and she is able to get that done, she will just get that done, without question or asking for anything in return.

I had so much more I wanted to write but for today I think I will just say one thing. Since we were kids and even now, many people compare us because we are sister and it seems that’s a thing that people do. I have been told by many that my sister is better at many things etc etc. These kinds of remarks/observations never make me feel bad or sad or jealous or envious (apparently one is supposed to feel at least one of them, is what I am told). On the contrary, I feel so proud. She makes me proud all the time.

I wish that in this new year of your life, you get to fulfill all that you have set your mind to (I know you will anyway, see you at the finish line). You have taught me being ambitious isn’t a bad thing. You have taught me to always learn, re-learn and teach others what you learn, because even in teaching there is learning. You have taught me it’s never late to start anything or to believe in oneself.

You are a good sister but I think everyone who knows you can agree with me, you are a good human being.

Happy Birthday!

2020 Chapter I Section 15

Respect is earned.

This is something I truly believe. I cannot respect someone just because I am told to or because I am supposed to. Nope. No matter who you are, you need to earn my respect.

I do not care if you are related to me or older than I am or or or.

I know I am not really someone who is famous or important. My words shouldn’t mean much to many. But, I will stand by my principles. I cannot respect someone just because I must.

Respect is earned through actions, not words.

Words do not cost much. They can be bought and sold, but one’s action stands by them.

Does your action demand respect or earn it?

P.S. The two people I respect the most; my mother and sister. I just had to let the world know. :)