Dear Thamma (grandmother)
Today I was missing my grandmother a lot. I was feeling rather lost. When I was younger, I would go to her whenever I felt lost.
She was the first teacher, friend, guide I had. She was my living God. She is still my God. I was feeling very helpless today, and I wanted to have one of our long conversations after which I somehow always knew what to do. I had written the following poem a few years back as a tribute to my grandmother; I felt like those words still capture how I feel today. So, I am re-sharing it today.
I miss you 'Thamma'. I hope you are happy. Sometimes I feel you are too far away but then the next moment I feel like you are right here, beside me. Help me stay strong, stay kind and stay safe!
Bhalo theko!
Good Bye
The last I saw you,
You looked so peaceful.
I did not know how to wake you up.
But now I wish I had.
At least I could have bid you goodbye.
It has been long, almost too long.
Since you stroked my hair, smiled and told me stories, of demons and fairies.
I do not know, how to tell you...
...that I Miss You!
I miss you every waking moment.
I miss you even when I do not miss you; I miss you even when I do not wish to.
How is it that you always knew what to say, to make me feel special?
How is it that you always knew what to do, to make me feel wanted?
I know you had to leave, we all have to leave one day.
But so soon?
Was it not part of our pact, that you would stay till I am here?
I have so much to say, so much to write.
But eternity seems such a short span of time.
For me to tell you,
How much I love you...How much I will always miss you!
TODAY'S CHECKLIST:
- Exercise: 2700 steps
- Food:
- Breakfast: None.
- Lunch: Leftover Biriyani and Chicken.
- Snack: Pizza!
- Dinner: Pasta
- Study: None
- Read: None.
- Feeling: Horrible day. A friend of mine ran away from home and others, and I spent a chunk of the night and day finding her and then counseling her!!!