grandmother

2020 Chapter I Section 5

I miss good conversations. About books.

One of my earliest memories is of vivid conversations about books. My paternal grandmother was a teacher and an avid reader. She was the one who made me fall in love with the art of reading. One thing I remember she told me, “don’t just read, talk about it”. Discussions and conversations about what we were reading were always encouraged.

At school, I always found someone who loved to read and talk about what they read. Of course, at the time I didn’t know, the cooler name for such activity was called a “Book Club”. I just knew I liked to read and I liked to talk about it.

I think the Harry Potter series was a blessing. More people started reading and discussing. During my 11th and 12th standards I used to have competitions with a friend, who can finish the new books first. Because, spoilers! I mean, of course!

I still have this particular friend in my life and we still talk about books and I am so grateful for that.

College was the time when I think I finally found people who truly appreciated conversations about books. I was pursuing my bachelor’s in English Literature and of course reading books was part of the requirement. I mean it was not really a rule but it was assumed a literature student would read.

I had a friend at the time who loved to read. I mean LOVED. We would spend hours discussing every mundane detail of life and what we read, what we felt when we read it and dissect every element of it. Ahh, those were the good old days.

My professors were also a big reason why I spent all my free time reading. They opened up my mind to new genres and new writers, names which were unknown to me before. I think I read a lot more in those 3 years of college than I have in the past 5 years.

This brings me to the current times. I still read. I still have a few conversations with friends or colleagues here and there. But, none satisfy the bookworm in me.

Work-life and laziness have taken over the adult life. A friend and I are admins to a Facebook book club where we are supposed to have many dialogues on books. But, we both are so engrossed with life and its many twists and turns, we barely make our presence felt there. (hey, at least we make sure the annual secret Santa gift exchange happens where gifts are exclusively only books)

I miss those days when I could simply sit with my grandmother or a friend and talk about why a certain character did what it did and what the writer must have been thinking when they used a certain word.

2017 Chapter III Section 8

Here we go

The first leg of the journey starts today.

I have a lot to do, 

A very long way to go. 

 

Be with me Thamma, (Dadu, Dimma too)

You are my God, Goddess and all! 

With your strength and the love from others, 

I know I will succeed. 

 

I need to win this one, 

Not only for me. 

But, for all those, I want to fight for. 

 

Give me a chance to get my voice, 

So, I can shout for others.

 

May your love, blessings and prayers, 

Make me the Human I wish to be! 

Tata! 

[Note: I am currently flying across the world.]

 

2017 Chapter I Section 16

Dear Thamma (grandmother)

Today I was missing my grandmother a lot. I was feeling rather lost. When I was younger, I would go to her whenever I felt lost. 

She was the first teacher, friend, guide I had. She was my living God. She is still my God. I was feeling very helpless today, and I wanted to have one of our long conversations after which I somehow always knew what to do. I had written the following poem a few years back as a tribute to my grandmother; I felt like those words still capture how I feel today. So, I am re-sharing it today. 

I miss you 'Thamma'. I hope you are happy. Sometimes I feel you are too far away but then the next moment I feel like you are right here, beside me. Help me stay strong, stay kind and stay safe! 

Bhalo theko! 

 

Good Bye

The last I saw you,

You looked so peaceful.

I did not know how to wake you up.

 But now I wish I had.

At least I could have bid you goodbye.


It has been long, almost too long.

Since you stroked my hair, smiled and told me stories, of demons and fairies.


I do not know, how to tell you...

...that I Miss You! 

I miss you every waking moment.

I miss you even when I do not miss you; I miss you even when I do not wish to.


How is it that you always knew what to say, to make me feel special? 

How is it that you always knew what to do, to make me feel wanted?


I know you had to leave, we all have to leave one day.

But so soon? 

Was it not part of our pact, that you would stay till I am here?

I have so much to say, so much to write.

But eternity seems such a short span of time.

For me to tell you, 

How much I love you...How much I will always miss you!

 

TODAY'S CHECKLIST:

  • Exercise: 2700 steps
  • Food:
    • Breakfast: None.
    • Lunch: Leftover Biriyani and Chicken. 
    • Snack: Pizza! 
    • Dinner: Pasta
  • Study: None
  • Read: None.
  • Feeling: Horrible day. A friend of mine ran away from home and others, and I spent a chunk of the night and day finding her and then counseling her!!!