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2017 Chapter III Section 21

Meal Prep & More

Hello hello, it's been a while since I have written properly. I will take the time one day to edit in everything in the previous blogs. I kept writing a log of everything so I could write but every day at the end of the day I would get super tired and not be able to write! :( 

I have been so tired since I got to Irvine. It's been almost a week and a half since I reached. And, every day it has been something or the other. 

Had to get the room set up, then bank account, this and that. Small and big things just kept adding up. (I will edit in every detail in the previous blogs.)

Most of the things are ready and done, and I am getting used to living here. Residing in a new place was a bit of a worry for me since I have a tendency of falling sick easily in a new setup. But, till now (fingers crossed) everything has gone smoothly. 

I have noticed my cough is gone. I was sure that it was the pollution back home that affected my cough. And, Irvine is super clean, so I think that has been good for me. 

The weather is a bit cooler here than I am used to, but it has been quite pleasant for me. I love my daily walks here! 

I have been eating right too. But, I wanted to do a proper meal plan, and today I spent almost 6 hours prepping for two week's worth of food! :)

I am feeling tired, but now I am so happy. Now, I have to follow it correctly and get healthier.

I also want to go back to properly writing every day.

One day at a time! I have a few plans I need to get my life on the right track and now to slowly execute them! 

Let's do this! :)

Tata! 

[P.S. Just realised it's raining outside and I love the smell of wet earth! :)]

TODAY'S CHECKLIST:

  • Exercise: 6k Steps, Cooking all day (oh yeah it's a form of workout when you do it for 6 hours!)
  • Food:
    • Breakfast: Cheerios, Vanilla Almond Milk
    • Lunch: One & half White Tortilla, Homemade Chicken curry, Egg Bhurji 
    • Snack: Blackberry, Mio Electrolyte, One piece of Brown Bread, Hazelnut spread 
    • Dinner: Brown Rice, Salad, Chole 
  • Study: Stanford
  • Read: None
  • Feeling: Feeling inspired and motivated!

2017 Chapter III Section 20

Day of planning meals & life

What did I do today because time seemed to be running quite fast and I seem to be left here trying to catch up?!

I started the day by studying! Then, suddenly while studying budgeting, I had this brain wave where suddenly I wanted to do my own budgeting. Then, I started doing my budgeting and completely lost track of time! 

But, the end results of it has been good. 

I did a few months' budgets and then also a tentative meal plan. 

Once my sister was back from work we went to shopping for the stuff I needed for meal prep. The whole day I kept thinking about budgeting and meal prep! I would say it was quite fruitful and I am happy this organised side of my brain is back! :) 

For a while, I couldn't really get my organisational skills working right so I am happy to have it back! I didn't study as much as I would have loved to, but still, I feel the day went well!

Now, I am super tired and so off to bed!

Tata!  

TODAY'S CHECKLIST:

  • Exercise: 7k Steps
  • Food:
    • Breakfast: Egg whites, Frozen veggies
    • Lunch: Chicken Curry, Dal, Tortilla 
    • Snack: Nothing 
    • Dinner: Chicken Curry, Dal, Tortilla 
  • Study: Stanford
  • Read: None
  • Feeling: My brain feels happy

2017 Chapter II Section 20

Fever Day 2 

Day 2 of doing nothing. I went to the doctor. I have chest congestion, mild fever, and swollen tonsils. I have been given a bunch of medicines and blood tests I need to get done. 

These medications are making me super sleepy, so I am off to sleep! 

Hopefully, I bounce back tomorrow! 

Tata!

TODAY'S CHECKLIST:

  • Exercise: None (I have a fever!)
  • Food:
    • Breakfast: None
    • Lunch: Rice, Tadka, Loki Sabji
    • Snack: Chia, Flaxseed, Lassi, Cocoa, Narkeli Kul, Watermelon, Couscous Kichdi with eggs
    • Dinner: Quinoa, Tadka, Loki Sabji
  • Study: None
  • Read: None
  • Feeling: Bleh 

2017 Chapter II Section 7

Zero Waste, Minimalism, Environmental Sustainability & Veganism Part 1

No, I am not living either life. I am not vegan, I am not really minimalistic (though I personally do not own a lot of things), and I do not live a zero waste life. But, I want to adopt all of the above and also live a green and environmentally sustainable life!  

For a while now, I have been thinking how I can be more productive and useful to the world. I also want to be a lot more conscious about my footprint here. I want to leave the world a lot better than I received it. 

I do not believe in labels at all, be it for sexuality or life choices. But, recently I have been reading up a lot on Zero Waste, Veganism, Environmental Sustainability and Minimalist life choices. 

Each one of them has aspects which appeal to my very core in one way or the other. 

I have realised that I am a hypocrite. In the true sense of the word. I am a hypocrite without realising. 

I will explain that in the following points:

A. Let's start with Veganism today: 

I say that I love animals. I truly do. I think animals are far superior to human beings. People are selfish, and one species is destroying more of the planet than all of the other species combined. 

We are not only destroying our planet and home but others' too. But, having said that, I have realised that I do not give all animals equal respect. 

I have always been against leather and other animal products. I do not own anything leather, and I use products which are animal cruelty-free. But, that is the extent of my love for animals it seems. 

Recently in India, there was a huge debate about a certain sport where bulls were being used (or rather abused) as part of it. There was a huge uproar about the sport getting shut down.

I felt disgusted when I thought so many people supports animal cruelty. I mean how can they? How can you use animals as a sport? Etc etc. etc.... 

But, then a thought struck me. I eat meat and fish and eggs and milk. I am abusing animals as much as these people are. I honestly do not think I have the right to point out to others what I do in my life.

I mean okay maybe I do not personally kill a chicken, but it is still being killed somewhere, for me! Then, how am I better? I may not be a conscious murderer, but I still am one. 

The thought made me think, a lot more than I had anticipated. I am a Bengali, and our staple diet is Rice and Fish Curry. I have known the taste of animal products since I was six months old. I practically live on animal products (now not so much).

I will not deny it; I love eating meat and eggs. And, this very thought makes me sick and disturbed. Over the years, I have noticed that every time I think about eating non-vegetarian my soul feels like it is dying a little bit.

But, the past few weeks, this has been a constant thought. I cannot be an animal lover by loving a dog but being perfectly okay with butchering a chicken. I know all the arguments for and against eating non-vegetarian, the food pyramid, etc., etc. etc....and now my brain feels so messed up. It is like I am constantly having an internal debate. 

Now, I will be honest I do not eat as much non-vegetarian as I used to before and somewhat I am losing the love for it too. But, deep down I feel like being a Non-vegetarian has become a part of my identity. I know it sounds rather strange and like an excuse. But, that's the truth. For Bengalis Food is a religion and not eating Fish (or mutton) is like losing a part of you. 

But, I feel I am making excuses, but then I feel if I continue the way I live I am still a hypocrite. Maybe, I should say I love some animals as pets and the others as food. Perhaps, at least that way, I am not lying to myself or others. But, does that solve the issue? Sigh! 

I honestly do feel that if I go veg, I will go full vegan. But, I also feel if I quit cold turkey, I will definitely relapse. Wow, I make it sound like an addiction. (A friend had recently told me how it is an addiction.) 

Well, for now, I can decrease my consumption of animal products and by-products. One day at a time. I am writing this today not as a piece to give others hope or lectures in becoming a Vegan. I think to each their own. I would never push my thoughts on others, and I expect the same from others. You don't need to agree with me, just don't bash my ideas because I feel they are legitimate, even if you don't. 

I am genuinely torn in between on this subject, and I would love to have this debate till I can maybe find a solution that works for me. I think this will be a journey that I have to take it to find me and also to find my purpose. (I am honestly not trying to sound philosophical, it is just my current state of mind!!!)

I have a few more thoughts on this, but for now, I think I will go and sit down somewhere and let this mental war play out for a bit. I feel like I am one human with too many contradictions! 

[I know I might be taking a lot more on my plate than I should, but I believe everything goes together, each supports the other. I am setting a goal for me, and I will try to achieve that, but in the meantime, I do not want to be as blind to the issues as I have been till now. That is the whole point of these blogs, to see on (virtual) paper the thoughts I have and find ways to implement them.]

[Note: To Be Continued...on this topic and others...]

Tata! 

TODAY'S CHECKLIST:

  • Exercise: Weights
  • Food:
    • Breakfast: Rice, Veggie, Dal
    • Lunch: Rice, Veggie, Dal, Fish
    • Snack: Chia Seeds, Flax Seeds, Chocolate Milkshake, Narkeli Kul
    • Dinner: Rice Spaghetti in Tomato Sauce (Homemade & Vegan)
  • Study: None
  • Read: A Clash of Kings
  • Feeling: Confused, constant battles in my head! 

2017 Chapter II Section 3

Weigh-In Part 4

Well, I am super happy and super sad today, happy because I got a perfect score on my test. I am doing an online certificate in marketing and innovation from Stanford, and this is the first course I got a perfect score. I have been hovering in the early 90s for a while. So, yeah small joys of life! :) 

I am sad because this week has been a disaster exercise and food wise. I have not eaten right and not exercised well, and it shows in my weigh in today. 

I will just put my numbers in and call it a day and just try to enjoy the little success I got today. 

Tata! 

 

THE STATS FOR THE WEEK:

Date: 03/02/2017

Weight: 87.6 Kgs
Body Fat: 50%
BMI: Obese Class 2
Lean Mass: 43.45 Kgs

Neck: 14.80 Inches
Shoulders: 48 Inches
Chest: 45 Inches
Waist: 44.20 Inches
Hips: 46.20 Inches
Bicep L: 13.20 Inches
Forearm L: 9.8 Inches
Bicep R: 12.70 Inches
Forearm: 9.8 Inches
Thigh L: 27.8 Inches
Calf L: 15.40 Inches
Thigh R: 28.2 Inches
Calf R: 14.70 Inches

TODAY'S CHECKLIST:

  • Exercise: None. I had to run around a lot for some house work and then study! 
  • Food:
    • Breakfast: None
    • Lunch: Fried Rice, Chicken Curry, Palak Paneer
    • Snack: Orange. Fried Rice, Chicken Curry
    • Dinner: Pizza from Domino's (Yes I did something this stupid today), Gingerale
  • Study: Stanford
  • Read: A Clash of Kings
  • Feeling: Super Happy as I got the 100% on the course but super sad because of my weigh in! But, more happy than sad! :P Come on it's a perfect score! 

2017 Chapter I Section 31

One Habit, Two Habit & Three: First Month of Blogging! 

I have always loved to write. I find it being the best way to express myself. I am sadly not the most skilled at it, but I try. 

One of the things, I wanted to do this year was to read and write more. I do read a lot in general, be it articles, blogs, new papers or something very general. I read books too. I used to read a lot more, but I still try to finish a book every few weeks. I want to increase those numbers, though. 

But, writing was something I was not doing at all. Maybe it's something I like to believe in, or maybe there might be some real truth to it, but I feel when I write more, I am more aware and feel smarter. 

I do not know if that makes sense or not but when I write I feel like my brain opens up, I can feel my pupils dilating as if it is ready to absorb more from the universe than it normally does. I do not exactly know how to convey it to you, but I just feel more alive. 

I have always loved writing. I do not like to talk much. I mean to most people. I have my selected bunch of people I would like to have a phone or one on one conversation with and with the rest I would rather message or chat. 

I sometimes feel quite lucky that I live in the technological era that I do because emailing and messaging systems have made this anxiety-driven person a lot more social than she could have hoped to be. 

So, basically, I am saying that writing is my outlet for my thoughts. Everyone needs an outlet, and this is mine. I do not like to divulge much of my life to others. But, through writing, I feel I get the feeling of sharing and so the need to reveal my secrets also go away. 

When I was young, I used to write in my diary, but since I have developed Fibromyalgia, the task of physically writing has been quite difficult. I do send occasional emails to the self, but in general, I haven't really 'talked to myself' in a long while. (I do believe we should all have more conversations with the self so we can learn to filter a few unnecessary things we say aloud to others.)

This New Years when everyone was busy with their celebrations and resolutions, I decided I have to promise to talk to me more or at least to express my thoughts more. Now, my outlets are few and most I do not like. Also, I wanted to hold myself accountable and what's a better way than to write on a social platform.

I know hardly anyone reads my blog, but the fact that I have convinced my brain that every day I need to write about something or the other, that I need to think more, has led me to do that exact thing. 

I honestly have enjoyed writing every day this month, and this has become sort of a habit now. Barring the few days when I was very sick, I have made it a point to take some time off each day from everything, sit down and write. 

I am happy I have been able to write almost every day of the month. I have noticed because writing has become such a habit; it has started affecting my other habits too. I love to follow my routine of exercises, food, reading, and studying. 

I know for a while I was not well enough to do any of it. And, knowing my health issues, there might be more days like that. But, I have noticed a positive change in my mindset. I now feel bad when I miss out something. And, instead of dismissing it or finding excuses for missing out on something I want to do. I just simply find a way to make sure I do it or at least find an alternative. 

I am positive that one good habit can permeate to create other good ones. I look forward to them, and I look forward to writing what's on my mind every single day this year! 

Thank you, stranger, for reading! :) 

Tata! 

TODAY'S CHECKLIST:

  • Exercise: 1944 steps 
  • Food:
    • Breakfast: None (Woke up late, still haven't been to fix my sleep pattern)
    • Lunch: Rice, Rajma, Cauliflower and Potato Curry
    • Snack: French Toast
    • Dinner: Soup
  • Study: Stanford
  • Read: None
  • Feeling: Happy! Tonsils hurt but rest seem to be working. 

2017 Chapter I Section 17

The Blogger You Seek, Cannot be Found 

Today I woke up with hope and vigour that today I will finish all the pending tasks. But, the minute I stepped off my bed, everything went downhill. 

Oh, my head started spinning, my body felt like it was on fire, nose was blocked, and I couldn't speak. 

I did not know what was happening. I slowly sat down on my bed and decided to lie down for a bit. 

I woke up after I thought was 15 minutes, but in reality was 5 hours. 

I felt incredibly weak, and my brain felt like mush. 

I didn't have a fever as my temperature was only 99. 

After a quick lunch, I decided to take another nap as I felt like the whole world was spinning around me. This nap was truly short, and I woke up sweating; I had a very strange dream. 

I realised there was no way I could finish any of my work as I couldn't think straight without literally hurting my brain!!!

My mother wanted to have some simple pasta. I made some for our evening snack, ate it and went back to bed. 

I again woke up at 18:35 IST. 

It's 20:00 IST now, I just finished my dinner. My nose feels itchy and dry, and I am having trouble breathing. 

I think I will just call it a day and write today off as a bad day. 

Here is hoping, tomorrow is a better one! 

Tata! 

TODAY'S CHECKLIST:

  • Exercise: 1681 Steps
  • Food:
    • Breakfast: None.
    • Lunch: Chicken, Rice
    • Snack: Pasta
    • Dinner: Noodles
  • Study: None
  • Read: None.
  • Feeling: I was not well! :(