2017 Chapter VI Section 18

Life & Budgeting 

Money is a strange thing, 
The runs the world, 
And, runs me too.

Somehow, it always runs away, 
From me, I don 't know why, 
Or, have no clue!

I am not Rich,
I am not Poor,  
I always seem to have enough, 
But, always seem to need more.  

Now, let me budget a little, 
To save for tomorrow, 
So, I can be a little more happy, 
And, have little less sorrow! 

Tata! 

TODAY'S CHECKLIST:

• Exercise: None, I did get out of the bed twice.
• Food:
  • Pre-Workout: None.
  • Post Workout: Breakfast: Leftover Lasagna.
  • Lunch: Domino's Pizza. 
  • Snack: None. 
  • Dinner: Rice, Aloo Sabji 
• Study: None.
• Read: None
• Feeling: Lazy, hazy, crazy (because I am budgeting)

2017 Chapter III Section 26

Day of food and happiness

Today has been a happy Sunday. My special work seemed to have gone well; now I am hoping it sees fruition.

After the work, I finally got to indulge in a Double Double and Animal Style Fries! :) I have waited for a while for it. It is yummy! :D

It was followed by a small cup from Yogurtland and washed down with Iced Boba tea from this cute place nearby. 

Now, as my sister and I watch the umpteenth episode of White Collar and eat a handful of high-quality chocolate, I am ready to call it a day! 

I have too many thoughts running through my head, and I am constantly getting distracted by them. 

I need to re-start my meditations. I need to sit quietly with just me and just let the chaos settle down. I have to remember I have life plans and no matter what I have to keep going forward. 

You can do everything in your power, hope for the best and prepare for the worse. The rest will happen as it is written to be. 

On that philosophical note, I am off to bed! Tata! 

TODAY'S CHECKLIST:

• Exercise: Weight Training, Packing
• Food:
  • Breakfast: Pasta, My veg sauce, Keema
  • Lunch: In and Out Cheeseburger, Animal Style Fries, Yogurtland Yogurt, Iced Tea Boba
  • Snack: Diet Canada Dry, Small bag of Chex Mix, Tavana Chocolate
  • Dinner: Rice with eggs, Chicken Curry 
• Study: None
• Read: None
• Feeling: Hoping for the best

2017 Chapter II Section 17

WEIGH-IN PART 6

I have been a good girl this week. I did eat a few outside food, but I made sure the amount wasn't a lot. Since I was out of home quite a bit this week; I had to eat outside!  

The week did not start off so well as I suffered from a severe stomach upset the first two days. But, the rest of the week was quite uneventful. 

Today was the start of something important in my life, which will culminate on 23rd. I am hopeful it will be all positive. Let's see! 

Today was rather exciting. 

I met my school friend after almost 12 years! She was my first friend. 

We had fallen out of touch for a while but recently reconnected. It was great to see her after so long. She looks so different from the last time I saw her, but she talks and smiles the same way! It made me miss the good ole' days! :) 

Since the year has started, old friends of mine have been getting in touch with me one way or the other. It feels a bit surreal!

More on that later, I am way too sleepy to function right now! 

Tata! 

THE STATS FOR THE WEEK:

DATE: 17/02/2017

Weight: 85.5 Kgs
Body Fat: 50%
BMI: Obese Class 2
Lean Mass: 42.75 Kgs

Neck: 14.60 Inches
Shoulders: 47.1 Inches
Chest: 44 Inches
Waist: 44 Inches
Hips: 46 Inches
Bicep L: 13.70 Inches
Forearm L: 9.80 Inches
Bicep R: 12.50 Inches
Forearm: 10.01 Inches
Thigh L: 28 Inches
Calf L: 15.20 Inches
Thigh R: 27.6 Inches
Calf R: 14.90 Inches

TODAY'S CHECKLIST:

• Exercise: Weight Training, 4200 steps
• Food:
  • Breakfast: None
  • Lunch: Quinoa, Dal, Aloo Poshto
  • Snack: Chia, Flaxseed, Half a Chicken Sandwich 
  • Dinner: Dimsum, Noodles, Rice, Hunan Chicken (MainLand China), I had a little bit of everything
• Study: None
• Read: The Confidence Man
• Feeling: Optimistic 

2017 Chapter II Section 16

"What's on Your Mind?"

I feel so tired, 
So defeated,  
Having constant arguments,
Some are light, but most are heated! 

I do not know what's next, 
Or where I am going. 
Stuck in a loop,
And, it's frustrating and annoying. 

I feel overloaded, 
With thoughts and feelings, 
Everything is closing in on me, 
Even the walls and the ceilings. 

I cannot breathe, 
Someone wake me up, 
But, I do not want to quit yet, 
I do not want to give up. 

What am I looking for, 
Can someone tell?
Am I going towards Heaven, 
Or, walking into Hell?

Do I need more time, 
Or have I run out of it?
I don't know what to do, 
Should I stand, move or just sit?

I have a feeling, 
I have been here before, 
But, I feel so numb, 
And, about nothing I am sure. 

TODAY'S CHECKLIST:

• Exercise: Weight Training, 4000 steps, 30 mins dancing
• Food:
  • Breakfast: None
  • Lunch: Quinoa, Dal, Aloo Poshto
  • Snack: Homemade healthy rice noodles (I hardly ate), Chia, Flaxseed 
  • Dinner: Quinoa, Chicken 
• Study: Stanford
• Read: The Confidence Man
• Feeling: Torn inside

2017 Chapter II Section 12

Stories of Old & New

Today was a fun day. I was at my friend's place. I met her after almost eight years! I have known her since I was 11! We were quite inseparable when we were young. 

In between for a few years, we both got busy with our lives and did not keep in touch. 

But, I am happy she has come back into my life. I had missed her a lot. She is one of those people with whom I can talk about absolutely anything under the sun and not have to think about her judging me or getting me wrong. 

She has the cutest baby boy now. Yesterday I had gone to a party which was in his honour. He is so cute and has such an adorable smile! :) Makes my heart feel warm. 

Throughout the day we kept chatting, and it felt like I was back in my childhood. 

My brain kept getting confused. It felt like I was a kid again and nothing had changed yet every time I saw her with her son, I knew a lot of time has passed. 

But, it doesn't feel any different. I feel the old and new is nicely blending in together. 

I love it when she tells me stories from the time we couldn't talk. They add to the surprise element yet everything seems familiar. 

It is the weirdest of sensations. I just hope we keep talking and be present in our lives for the rest of our times. 

While talking to her, I realised, though I have changed a lot in the past few years, the good, the mad and the funny things in me have remained the same, and that made me happy. 

On that nostalgic note, Tata! 

TODAY'S CHECKLIST:

• Exercise: None
• Food:
  • Breakfast: Oats pancake
  • Lunch: Rice, Shukto, Dal, Alu Bhaja, Fish Fry, Mutton (Promadi's son's party) Awesome food
  • Snack: Tea
  • Dinner: Quinoa, Veggie
• Study: None
• Read: None
• Feeling: Happy and nostalgic. 

2017 Chapter II Section 11

Psychic Dreams and Weight Training

Today was quite an uneventful day, and I do not feel like writing much. 

I slept and had the weirdest of dreams. I sometimes feel I see glimpses of the future. 

No, I am not going insane, or I do not really think I am a psychic. It's just since I was a child, I have had very weird dreams. And, sometimes some elements of them have come true. 

Some of the events have been exactly like what I would dream. Honestly, I do not pay much heed to such things. It's just lately my sleep pattern has been quite bad, and I have been having some strange dreams. Some of them seem so real with details which remind of the dreams I used to have and those of which have come true. 

I remember most of my dreams, so maybe one day I will share one of them here. 

Anyway, psychic or not, for now, I will just ignore these and move on. 

Today exercise wise, it was a good day. I love these new back exercises I am doing for my Fibro, and they are honestly keeping the pain to the minimum. 

I have been a good girl too as far as food is concerned and it has been quite a vegan day (except the little dahi I used for the lassi!) 

So, on that happy note, Tata! 

TODAY'S CHECKLIST:

• Exercise: Weight Training, 4000 Steps
• Food:
  • Breakfast: None
  • Lunch: Quinoa, Dal, Mixed Veggie
  • Snack: Narkeli Kul, Jamrul, Apple, Lassi with Almond, Chia, Flaxseed; Muri, Chola, Boiled Potato
  • Dinner: Quinoa, Dal 
• Study: None
• Read: None
• Feeling: Happy, Pain is less today

2017 Chapter II Section 9

I Am a Good Girl

Today was my first day of '15 days of eating right and exercising'. I was a very good girl! 

I ate right, did my exercises but the only thing, though, I slept a lot. I do not know why. 

I just couldn't wake up in the morning. I slept again in the afternoon. But, today my pain is also a little less, so I am not complaining. 

Overall, I am feeling encouraged. 

I wanted to study a bit more today, but I feel very foggy in the head today. 

So, I will just let me have a pass today. It's fine. I know I will make it up tomorrow. 

[I know I talk to my brain like it is a child. I think it might be!!!]

Today I felt like sharing a poem. This one is very close to my heart and whenever I feel lost, or unhappy or feel like I need a boost, I read this. It is not a euphoric poem, but I just love it. 

Well, on that note, I bid you adieu! Enjoy the poem!

Tata! 

Faery Song

- John Keats

Shed no tear! oh, shed no tear!
The flower will bloom another year.
Weep no more! oh, weep no more!
Young buds sleep in the root's white core.
Dry your eyes! oh, dry your eyes!
For I was taught in Paradise
To ease my breast of melodies,--
Shed no tear.

Overhead! look overhead!
'Mong the blossoms white and red--
Look up, look up! I flutter now
On this fresh pomegranate bough.
See me! 'tis this silvery bill
Ever cures the good man's ill.
Shed no tear! oh, shed no tear!
The flower will bloom another year.
Adieu, adieu -- I fly -- adieu!
I vanish in the heaven’s blue,--
Adieu, adieu!

TODAY'S CHECKLIST:

• Exercise: Weights, 1804 Steps
• Food:
  • Breakfast: None
  • Lunch: Quinoa, Veggies, Dal
  • Snack: Orange, Jamrul, Narkeli Kul, Cocoa Milkshake with Chia & Flaxseeds
  • Dinner: Quinoa, Eggs, Chicken Stew
• Study: None
• Read: None
• Feeling: Sleepy but happy

2017 Chapter II Section 8

Fat Thoughts

It's been a while now, that my body has been at war. I have quite a few physical issues. 

I have issues with my hormones, PCOD, Fibromyalgia and a tendency of falling sick or just falling and breaking or injuring different parts of my body. 

I mention all these because, since 2012, I have been consistently becoming heavier and now my weight is at an alarming number. I have had minor successes here and there, but they were all short-lived. 

50% of this is because of my issues (they individually delay the process of weight loss but together they make it even harder and that's what gets to me sometimes), but the other 50% is because I either get lazy or demoralised. 

I have recently started walking, and I have seen some result, but I haven't been able to curb my food intake and also the kind of foods I am eating. My sleep has also been a huge factor. I am not getting enough and proper sleep!!!

I have a special thing on the 23rd of February, and I needed some new clothes (I hate shopping for clothes, I only buy when I have to). I was nicely fitting into clothes a size smaller than I was a few months back, but there was only one issue, my stomach. 

I have developed a huge paunch, and it is just not going away. It is rather disappointing because I looked good in the clothes I was trying except my stomach jutted out and it was quite visible. 

Now, honestly, I do not have body issues. I am perfectly fine with how I look, but after working hard to lose the stomach fat (it is dangerous for the heart hence it is good to reduce it, I am not chasing a six pack here), I am nowhere close. And, I realised a lot of it is because I do not like to do the ab exercises and also because of the kind of food I am eating. (and sleep pattern)

Now, I am a person of habit (as are most I guess). I want to train my brain to eat better and do those ab exercises, but if I think long term, I think it will be a failure. I overthink it and become lazy and overwhelmed. I believe this has been the main issue of not losing weight. 

So, I have decided that till 23rd of February (at least) I will only eat healthy food, will not eat out, or make or have junk food at home and will do regular exercises and yes that includes abs too. [I have to attend two events in between, I have to make exceptions for those two!!!]

I just have to last till 23rd. I have a feeling once it gets regular I will be okay. I have done this before; I just have to make sure not to stop this time. 

Well, good luck and I will make sure to check up on Me regularly. 

Tata! 

TODAY'S CHECKLIST:

• Exercise: Weights, 3611 Steps
• Food:
  • Breakfast: None
  • Lunch: Rice, Veggie, Dal 
  • Snack: Chicken Sandwich, Momo, Orange, Aam Satta
  • Dinner: Rice, Veggie, Dal 
• Study: None
• Read: None
• Feeling: Determined  

2017 Chapter II Section 3

Weigh-In Part 4

Well, I am super happy and super sad today, happy because I got a perfect score on my test. I am doing an online certificate in marketing and innovation from Stanford, and this is the first course I got a perfect score. I have been hovering in the early 90s for a while. So, yeah small joys of life! :) 

I am sad because this week has been a disaster exercise and food wise. I have not eaten right and not exercised well, and it shows in my weigh in today. 

I will just put my numbers in and call it a day and just try to enjoy the little success I got today. 

Tata! 

THE STATS FOR THE WEEK:

Date: 03/02/2017

Weight: 87.6 Kgs
Body Fat: 50%
BMI: Obese Class 2
Lean Mass: 43.45 Kgs

Neck: 14.80 Inches
Shoulders: 48 Inches
Chest: 45 Inches
Waist: 44.20 Inches
Hips: 46.20 Inches
Bicep L: 13.20 Inches
Forearm L: 9.8 Inches
Bicep R: 12.70 Inches
Forearm: 9.8 Inches
Thigh L: 27.8 Inches
Calf L: 15.40 Inches
Thigh R: 28.2 Inches
Calf R: 14.70 Inches

TODAY'S CHECKLIST:

• Exercise: None. I had to run around a lot for some house work and then study! 
• Food:
  • Breakfast: None
  • Lunch: Fried Rice, Chicken Curry, Palak Paneer
  • Snack: Orange. Fried Rice, Chicken Curry
  • Dinner: Pizza from Domino's (Yes I did something this stupid today), Gingerale
• Study: Stanford
• Read: A Clash of Kings
• Feeling: Super Happy as I got the 100% on the course but super sad because of my weigh in! But, more happy than sad! :P Come on it's a perfect score! 

2017 Chapter I Section 30

Can't Express

So much happening, 

Too many thoughts. 

No outlet. 

I sit and stare at the screen. 

Motionless & Dull.

Brain Overloaded. 

Thoughts abound, 

Words are not. 

TODAY'S CHECKLIST:

• Exercise: 600 steps 
• Food:
  • Breakfast: None
  • Lunch: Rice and Chicken 
  • Snack: Homemade Soup, Apple
  • Dinner: Pulao and Aloo Dum
• Study: Stanford
• Read: None
• Feeling: Tonsils hurt but rest seem to be working. Brain feels rather dead.